Things My Lovely Grandmother Has Said That Will Scar Me

No context, because life is so much better without it. 100% chance of this list growing. And yes, the would-be terrorist grandmother.
  1. "I shot my wad."
  2. "You'll just have to face it: I'm going to get humped."
  3. "I tried to pick up a man."
  4. "I'm old and don't get to touch anyone that way, so I have to get it how I can."
  5. "Where's the pussy spray?"
    Said very loudly in a Fred Meyer's.
  6. "I have a numbers fetish"
  7. "He's so cute. I just wanna give him a pat on the butt."
    She was shown a picture of the guy my sister went on a date with...