MY 6 PAGE JOURNAL ENTRY FROM THE NIGHT OF SEPTEMBER 11, 2001

I was a 19yearold sophomore at a private Christian college in The OC. We had sat transfixed all day on my friends futon unable to look away from Peter Jennings on the TV. We made ourselves leave to get Jamba Juice for nourishment, we were taken aback by the sound of silence outside. Our campus was near John Wayne Airport but no planes flew that day
  1. Here I am, living in a day that will FOREVER be remembered by America and the whole world...September 11, 2001 the day terrorists hijacked 4 planes & flew 2 into the World Trade Center in NYC & 1 into the Pentagon & a 4th plane crashed in Pennsylvania but was destined for elsewhere.
  2. It seemed like the entire nation shut down. Bri & I found out on our way to chapel when we were picking up Melissa & Becca. At chapel our whole school joined together in a time of fervent prayer. It is SO AWESOME that we have the opportunity to do that!
  3. Today has been a complete roller coaster of emotions. I've been dumbfounded, shocked, disgusted, enraged, defensive, optimistic, compassionate, apathetic, passionate, matter of fact, amazed, distressed, doubtful, it was all very unreal...but yet SO real.
  4. Classes were cancelled for the day & I found myself glued to the tv and Peter Jennings. I needed to KNOW EVERYTHING & I needed to see EVERYTHING...but at the same time part of me didn't want to see any of it. But there was part of me that wondered if I even have a soul.
  5. I'm watching this tragedy unfold before me & I'm sitting there analyzing the media coverage & decisions of the terrorists. I actually thought about the things they did right & wrong.
  6. They went with symbolism. By attacking the Pentagon it was symbolizing our safety and security and protection & how vulnerable it actually was. By hitting the World Trade Center he was symbolizing more of security but mostly financial security & it was also an important national landmark that is no more. New York will NEVER be the same.
  7. It's shocking. And just weird to think about. Watching the video of the buildings falling & the plane run into it & watching as people on fire JUMPED from 80 stories up. I can't even begin to fathom or imagine what they must have been thinking. What do you think at a time like that?!
  8. Those victims that got to use their cell phones one last time to talk to loved ones...how do you respond as the loved one-knowing it's the last conversation you will ever have with them-how do you deal?
  9. What is going to happen now? World War 3? Armageddon? Nothing? Everyone is speculating but no one knows. Tomorrow hasn't happened yet. Tomorrow everything here could go "back to normal" or we could get attacked. There will never be a full or complete "back to normal" for those on the east coast & those connected around the world.
  10. I pray this is a catalyst - not for more violence (though a part of me does feel strongly that bin Laden & whoever else is involved be killed & be killed bad - though just thinking that is sinning against God. I need to live my enemies. That is SO hard though. But why is it so hard? It's God's will)
  11. I just pray that this brings our country together and the people will begin to realize that God is the only answer. I am so excited that our President is a Christian and he included Psalm 23 in his statement (which was very well written, by the way).
  12. I can't even imagine what George W. must be feeling and/or thinking right now. You're President of the USA, you're a Christian & your country gets the crap beat out of it by knife (or cardboard cutter) wielding terrorists. How do you react? It's hard enough knowing how to feel being a little citizen like me, but to have to calm down a nation...
  13. And he told that nation to turn to God. GOOD ANSWER!
  14. You know another thought that crossed my mind today - I bet Gary Condit is stoked simply because it gets the focus off him. Sad, but could be true.
  15. AHH...the visuals are still with me - probably will be for the rest of my life. I keep seeing the building falling & the debris & what is left & thinking about the victims trapped & thinking about just how deep that debris has got to be. It's incredible. I can't imagine what it must have been like to be there, experience it, watch w/ my own 2 eyes.
  16. How do you move past something like that? Rest assured, our nation will never be the same. I pray it's for the better. I pray for the families and the huge roller coaster of emotions they are experiencing.
  17. I was thinking about the phone calls I had made recently & how those could have bee the last calls my friends got from me. And how we were SO EXCITED to get the Lifehouse tickets and how we could die before it even happened.
  18. I also thought about just how fortunate and blessed I have been. So blessed. I take so much for granted. I really need to appreciate all that I've been given.
  19. I'm still so excited about this year at school and how God is going to work.
  20. But I pray that God works in the lives and hearts of all involved: the families, our leaders, the terrorists, etc. Lord, help your will be done and help us look to you and not be afraid. AMEN.