MY *REAL* GROWNUP CHRISTMAS LIST (NOT THAT STUPID SONG)

  1. Someone to clean/organize my house
    But EXACTLY the way I want it done (but without me having to tell them)
  2. The dudes from hallmark Christmas movies to exist in real life
    And for one of them to date me
  3. a N.C.M.O (non committal make out) session
    The above Hallmark dudes accepted and welcomed
  4. A good steak dinner
  5. Metabolism of 22 year old me
  6. A new car
    And for the saga of my jeep and the insurance company and my dad's irresponsibility to not end poorly like it seems to be right now.
  7. Boots that will fit my freakishly large calves and normal-sized ankles and not look dumb
  8. Gift cards to the movies so I can go watch Star Wars over and over
    And to help pay for the popcorn and sour patch kids that must be partaken in during the movie
  9. To never hear My Grown Up Christmas List again
    Or Christmas Shoes or Last Christmas or any other of the stupid Christmas songs
  10. One night of spooning with an attractive member of the opposite sex. ONE NIGHT FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST.
    Suggested by   @biz
  11. I got you on the cleaning and organizing your house. That's my specialty.
    Suggested by   @andlamb
  12. A fancy ass vacuum cleaner...
    Because mama is covered in pet hair.
    Suggested by   @soletshangout