1. Sheryl Sandberg (Kristy Thomas)
    Scrappy, entrepreneurial, leans the fuck in when it comes to getting the babysitting done.
  2. Jennifer Garner (Mary Anne Spier)
    Sweet and maternal, it doesn't totally work when she tries to act sexy but she is not afraid to pursue a taken man.
  3. Marina Abramovic (Claudia Kishi)
    Artistic, bold, experimental, relatives have dealt with internment camps, loves candy.
  4. Shailene Woodley (Dawn Schafer)
    A California hippie who loves to forage and thinks people like Kristy Thomas and Sheryl Sandberg hate men.
  5. Nick Jonas (Stacey McGill)
  6. Donna Tartt (Mallory Pike)
    A bespectacled Very Serious Author with a Hobbesian worldview who doesn't suffer fools.
  7. Comfort Fedoke (Jessi Ramsey)
    What? You've never heard of Comfort Fedoke from "So You Think You Can Dance?" and you also don't remember Jessi the shy African American Junior BSC member? Exactly.