THINGS THAT ARE GAY ABOUT ME EVEN THOUGH I AM STRAIGHT

for those who have met me, this list is my way of saying yeah guys, I know. for those who haven't, this is what I am like.
  1. 1.
    I use Old Spice body wash and deodorant.
  2. 2.
    I wear collared shirts made out of rough, structured, canvas-like fabric.
  3. 3.
    I took not one but two seminars in college on the topic of "Queer Diasporas in Asian American Literature." (Stay tuned for upcoming list "Things That Are Asian About Me Even Though I am White").
  4. 4.
    I use the word "heteronormativity" often. I learned it in my seminars.
  5. 5.
    I like jewelry that looks like pieces of machines.
  6. 6.
    I just bought overalls that look like they are for a painter and I intend to wear them to all sorts of heteronormative events.
  7. 7.
    On multiple halloweens in my adulthood I have dressed as Bradley from Nickelodeon's "Hey Dude," the obviously closeted cowgirl at Bar None Ranch, rather than Melody the sexy lifeguard played by that lady who went on to marry Ben Stiller.
  8. 8.
    I make movies about gay people. Maybe this should have been first.