LIES I TELL MYSELF ON THE WEEKEND

  1. On Monday I'm going to the gym, I'm gonna kick my ass, and I'm gonna start feeling good about myself again
  2. You had that salad for lunch so having a whole bag of chips for an afternoon snack/dinner/dessert/midnight snack is completely appropriate
  3. I'll drop my dry cleaning off when I have to leave the apartment later
  4. I'll leave the apartment
  5. You can seamless two times in one day. It's two different doormen so no one will know