In that phase of my life where I see a direct comparison between myself and "The Dude" from The Big Lebowski
  1. Pre-ordered Justin Beiber's new album
    It started off as a joke, but one dance video and one dick pic later and I guess I'm a belieber now
  2. Apologized to a car that almost ran me over
    They were old. Like who yells at old people
  3. Got drunk before attending a lecture on the birth of Jesus Christ
    Had three too many sangrias during lunch.
  4. Tried to work out while watching Food Network
    Sometimes I wonder how I made it this far in life
  5. Actually forwarded this text to five people (while drunk)
    476aac6e fcd9 47f6 b9e1 aea3b778ae0a
    Really wanted to be able to call myself a "mashed potato hoe"