At 5am
  1. I know it says to take your shoes off, but do I actually have to?
    No you don't. The rules clearly don't apply to you you blessed soul.
  2. Is this B15? Excuse me, is this B15? Can anyone tell me if this is gate B15????
    Maybe before you have a panic attack, look at the letter and number RIGHT ABOVE YOI.
  3. How do I know what boarding position I am?
    Here's a novel idea, look at your boarding pass.
  4. I need a glass of wine.
    Really? At 5am you need a glass of wine? Ever heard of AA?
  5. Are there any weather conditions in Baltimore?
    I'm not your personal meteorologist! Try something called the weather app. Also, what a strange way to phrase that question.
  6. Flying today?
    No. I just love airports so much I paid $200 to sit here just cause.
  7. Where's this flight go again?
    If you have to ask where you're flying to, maybe flying isn't for you.