THINGS I DID TODAY

  1. Accidentally touched some guy's junk
    NOT MY FAULT, HE BUMPED INTO ME. Whispered a very sad and very wimpy "sorry" and then though about whether or not to tell my friend (we are almost barely friends and just started being barely friends). O didn't.
  2. Tried to film my brother's weird asleep face
    But it turns out he had heard me and was only pretending to be asleep because he didn't feel like talking to me. Great!
  3. Sat in the backseat of a two-door car
    Very small. Very uncomfortable. Everyone saw my underwear. It is bright yellow and has grey zig zag lines but only on the front.
  4. Ate my grandma's spaghetti and brownies
    These go separately but they are both delicious and my grandma's. The spaghetti is very orange. I feel like this is important.
  5. Went into the pharmacy with my brother and joked about getting condoms.
    We don't do this. It was kind of weird. He asked me which ones he should get. I told him I liked the cherry-flavored ones. It was a joke. I have never kissed a person.
  6. Lied about my last list item
    It happened on Saturday, okay? Sheesh. I didn't know how to include it. Gosh.
  7. Gave my mom a teacup
    It's very cute. It has a red fingerprint heart.
  8. Changed my laptop background
    Changed one to the pictures in a NYTimes article about music that I thought looked interesting but was too lazy to read. The pictures are cute though.