Number of Fucks I Give - A Rating Scale

particularly useful when being given a task, asked for a favor, or encountering people in general
  1. 1.
    On an average day in a typical situation: I give zero fucks
  2. 2.
    If you are a member of a respected group or affiliation in my life (i.e. elderly, my family, esteemed experts in my field, innocent children): I give half a fuck.
  3. 3.
    If you are a high ranking or recognized important person in one of said groups and are exerting said power and/or influence in the moment (i.e. president of the united states, a great-grandparent, C.E.O., or mom): I give three quarters of a fuck.
  4. 4.
    Situations are rated on an individual basis. Category 3 is a rare event and not reached purely by title or position.
  5. 5.
    Average situations that serve to benefit me may reach a category 3 based on pure ego stroking. This often depends on how much sleep I've gotten.
  6. 6.
    For all other situations refer to 1.