Secret single behaviors
Things I do because I'm single, live alone, and no one will ever know...until now.
- •Put whipped cream and chocolate syrup directly into the pint of ice creamBecause why waste time with a bowl and honestly who's gonna wash it anyway?
- •Give standing ovations when something good happens on T.V.Because why not?
- •Practice my acceptance speech for awards I haven't yet wonYes I still do this. There's still hope and I need to be ready.
- •Eat standing up at the kitchen counter before my food hits the plateLook...I rarely cook. And when I do sometimes I don't even care about the plate. I eat while cooking and the food never even makes the table. I don't know how this started, but it did and it keeps happening and I'm not mad about it.
- •Talk to myself while taking a bath.Yes I answer back, but I know I'm doing it so it's ok. Plus, I have some deep insights for myself
- •Imitate routines on Dancing with the StarsOne day they will invite mere mortals to dance with the true stars (the pros, obviously), and I will earn my rightful spot by having all the classic routines memorized...if I haven't pulled every muscle in my body by then.