I'm a clinical social worker specializing in children and families. My kid clients say funny and touching stuff.
  1. Yo! Miss you're like Supergirl! [insert my geek girl pleasure] Cause when you got your hair up and glasses on you look one way, but when you got your hair down you look completely different! (Laughter...pause) If you got a tan it would be better though.
  2. Me: Sometimes we have to share with someone we don't like, or when we don't want to so we can get along and have a nice day. Kindergartener: You mean like aliens? Me: I'm gonna have to think about that one, but you're probably right.
  3. Third Grader shows me a picture she drew: Me: Let's see, there's you and your friend, I see you labeled that. Third Grader: Mmhmm and birds. Me: Yes, I see the birds and...poop. Are the birds pooping on you? TG: Yes Me: You drew this entire picture just so I would have to say "poop", didn't you? TG; Yup! (falls over laughing)
  4. Student 1: What do you do when you talk to kids? Me: I think your friend can explain that. Student 2: Fears, she takes away fears.
  5. Sixth grade girl talking about a boy that has a crush on her: "Uugh, he annoys me deep in my soul!"
  6. Fifth grader: I wish we had a free library period. In prison they can do whatever they want like go to the gym or read a book. Well, not whatever they want but they can choose whether they work out or read.
  7. Seventh Grader: I swear you make a big deal out of everything! Me: That's kind of my job. SG: And you say I'm living in the past!
  8. Calling a parent to cancel a session because I'm sick and leaving early: Parent: Ok, no problem. Feel better! Drink some rum to clear that up! (awkward long pause) Maybe wait 'til after work to do that.