1. Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, etc.
    But NOT the Easter bunny bc that's just unnecessary spending on their part
  2. The hamster's presence killed the tree
    My mom secretly poured expired milk into the plant (?????) and it died. She blamed it on the hamster cage next to the plant. Dad thought it was reasonable so he moved the hamster into the garage. It died of overheating.
  3. Putting the computer on your lap will kill your ovaries
  4. Eating beans when laying down will lead to them getting stuck in your face