THE TIME I HAD COFFEE WITH FEDORA MAN

  1. I gave my number to a waiter once
  2. He texted me after I left and we set up a coffee "date"
  3. I showed up and he was wearing a fedora
  4. The fedora was yellow flag number 1
  5. He then introduced himself and said he was a computer science major.
  6. When I asked him what he wanted to do, he said he wanted to be a "Penetration Specialist". I'm putting that in quotes because I'm still not convinced it's a real job. (RED FLAG. Flag on the play)
    Apparently a penetration specialist is someone companies hire to break into their internet security systems to tell them where the weaknesses are. Still doesn't help me keep a straight face when I say it.
  7. Later on in the conversation he starts talking about fantasy books. FANTASY. BOOKS. And not the normal kind. (This is now when my mind is screaming ABORT. ABORT. ABORT.)
    Now, anyone who knows me, knows I am a HUGE Harry Potter nerd. I love Dtar Wars and Lord of the Rings. I can even get into the star treck movies. However, outside of these realms, there are no other fantasy realms for me. I also love superheroes and the movies and shows that go along with them.
  8. Conclusion: I'm never having coffee with anyone. Ever. Also: my dating life is like fly paper for freaks, which to be fair I've known for a long time.