THINGS I WON'T BE DOING DURING THE BASEBALL OFFSEASON

The Royals were crowned champions of baseball last night, marking the end of an historic 2015 for the Kings from KC and the rest of the MLB. But as the champagne dries in the Citi Field visitor's locker room, so to begins the dark time that is... THE OFFSEASON
  1. OBSESSING OVER MY DAILY FANTASY LINEUP
    Legal or not, I can't see myself using one of Fan Duel's "promo codes" to eventually lose $20 and an entire Sunday.
  2. QUESTIONING KOBE'S LEGACY
    He's shooting 31% from the field this year and is 6 of 33 from beyond the arc? Insert sad trombone here.
  3. WEARING AN OVERSIZED SWEATER IN AN AIR-CONDITIONED ARENA
    Just... No.
  4. PARTICIPATING IN THE UNIQUELY AMERICAN RITE KNOWN BY ONLY 3 LETTERS... MNF
    I'll just check Twitter the next day.
  5. BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING
    I'll be taking a page out of REI's book and going outside (just not to the mall at 4am).
  6. ORDERING ANYTHING WITH PEPPERMINT
    My gum is enough, thanks.
  7. NOT THINKING ABOUT BASEBALL
    Because there are only 5 months, 12 days, 15 hours and 23 minutes until MiLB Opening Day 2016. But who's counting?