I wish people told me these things with full sincerity.
  1. "You should not work"
  2. "You would do best just watching tv and telling us why your shows are the best"
  3. "Eating your entire caloric intake through a Wendy's menu will leave you very satisfied despite what people might tell you"
  4. "You can feel bad hair days but you never look like you have a bad hair day"