I volunteer as an EMT in Marlboro, NJ. Today we are running a blood drive in honor of National EMS Week.
  1. Good thing I signed up in advance and picked the first appointment. Don't forget to snapchat to make it real.
  2. Hmmm, I wonder when the last time I gave blood was. I hate when they look for the veins.
  3. Should I make a joke about how I try to hide the veins? Probably the joke about how I love watching the blood flow once it starts is better. Makes me seem tough.
  4. What was the pun I thought of last night? Think, think, think.
  5. Stop thinking. You're trying too hard.
  6. I'm getting nervous. Here comes the nurse tech person. What's the name of someone who takes blood? Think.
  7. Charming. Be charming. Don't do that weird smile.
  8. Okay. She's talking. Listen. The whole form. Smile and nod. Right. Don't sign. Picture ID?
  9. Where is my picture id? Crap. Is it in the office? They must think I'm an idiot.
  10. Okay. I'm walking. I'm walking. Smile at the cadets. Ok. My bag in in the office. Why isn't my wallet, oh there it is. Do I need those receipts still?
  11. Walking back to the blood mobile. Smile. Smile. What? Just smile and nod.
  12. Okay. Questions. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Umm, France. maybe 2014? No. No. No. No. No. List of medications you can't take? Oh. Here it is. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Almost done. No. No. No. No. No. Sign. Wait, no. She said don't sign.
  13. I'm still first. Excellent. Ha ha Leon.
  14. Actually, it's nice and quiet and peaceful in here. Maybe I should let Leon go first.
  15. Why are we still waiting? Why are they all around the computer? Why do they need a computer to take blood?
  16. Phlebotomist. That's the word.
  17. They can't take blood without a computer? Operating procedures are only on the computer?
  18. 1230? The only computer they can get is in queens?
  19. Should I have them check my veins? Wait, 1230 means 2 1/2 hours less time. And we signed up so many people. Seriously?
  20. Calm down. Not the phlebotomists fault. Be nice. That's the fake smile. Don't bitchy voice.
  21. Stay calm. You don't want to have a scary blood pressure. Calm.
  22. Ok. The backup computer should be here at 1145. It's 1140. 1145 is better than 1230. This is good. Breathe. Maybe go pee.
  23. Lynn is here with a backup computer!! I'm in. I'm first. I'm going into the little room!!
  24. Finger stick. I can do a finger stick. Testing my red blood cell something. 38.4. That sounds good. Oh. Not good. Wait. I can't give?? Another finger stick. What will change my hematocrit (what even is that) in two minutes? Oh.
  25. Oh. You stuck the other hand, that was fast. I didn't even realize. Waiting. Waiting. Ok. 39. Is that enough? Ok. Good.
  26. Hi Nadeem. I'm Natalie. Yes. I've given blood but not in a while. Shh. Don't talk too much. He doesn't care. Ok. Oh. Look we are starting. Blood pressure cuff as tourniquet. Why did I just say that we have better tourniquets? Ugh. Almost forgot - Quick snapchat to make the experience real.
  27. Smoothest stick ever. Well done Nadeem.
  28. Wee!! Here it goes. It's so pretty. I feel a little vampire. Oh wait, maybe don't lean over like that. That's a good head rush.
  29. Almost done? That was fast. I think telling someone they have good blood flow is a compliment. At least in this case.
  30. Ok. Gauze. Pressure. Ooh. Purple wrapping tape stuff. That's making me happier than it should. I can totally stand up now.
  31. Don't fall. Don't fall. Step. Step. I feel totally normal or not maybe a little woozy just have to make it to the bench up there and don't bump into that guy giving blood looks a little freaky breathe breathe.
  32. Ok. Sitting is good. Juice is good.
  33. Bloodmobile would be a good name for a vampire moving company. Or band. Very goth. Or something.
  34. Might have to keep rolling my sleeves up to casually show off the purple tape.
  35. Almost forgot to snapchat. Would it be real without a snap and a list?