SHAMEFUL THINGS I HAVE DONE

  1. 1.
    Tried to conceal my drunken throw-up in a to-go container so I wouldn't have to pay the "clean up" fee.
  2. 2.
    Taken a water cup from Panera and filled it with ice tea.
  3. 3.
    Evaded a bounty hunter for eight months.
  4. 4.
    Brought mini bottles to a bar and only ordered soda water because I am cheap.
  5. 5.
    Thrown sticky boobs at the ceiling.
    They leave stains FYI.
  6. 6.
    Thrown up out of an uber window.
    Apparently there is a $50 cleaning fee. Even IF you make it outside the car.
  7. 7.
    Gone skinny dipping in the governor of Florida's pool.
    Sry Rick Scott
  8. 8.
    Stolen a wig and disguised myself in order to go incognito at a bar.
  9. 9.
    Admitted to the items on this list.