Things I Need To Do But Will Never Do

These are the things I need to do but won't do
  1. Get tested for allergies
    I know I'm allergic to something. Nuts or dairy or??? Who knows, not me. Never will
  2. Get my wisdom teeth out
    I'm too afraid that I'll say something embarrassing when my mother comes to pick me up after surgery so no not doing that
  3. Ask people how they are
    Fuck that greeting
  4. Watch Sherlock
    Stop recommending this you nerds. No I'm not watching that show. Benedict cumberbatch is a praying mantis
  5. Wear a bra
    Nah.