LIKELY WAYS I WILL ACTUALLY DIE
Yes, I know I'm a hypochondriac. But here I tried to get realistic and determine the most likely causes of my death.
- •Actually dying of appendicitis because no one believes I had it for real this time
- •Sacrificed by a cult who assumed I was a virginal maidenFair
- •Beaten to death after calling the wrong man "Daddy" out of habitThis started out as a joke and is quickly spiraling out of my control
- •Bleeding out because I'm too squeamish to look at or treat a minor wound
- •Brain decay due to inhaling too many cologne samples at the mallWhat can ya do?
- •Mauled by a dog I wouldn't leave aloneAlso fair
- •Melted by my space heater as I slumber and gently shuffle off this mortal coilReally my ideal way to go