THINGS ABOUT WHICH I AM ASKING FOR A FRIEND

  1. Rudimentary geography
  2. The official cut-off point/criteria for being an alcoholic
  3. Whether this is a thigh pimple or an early tumor
  4. What exactly crack is and whether you snort it or smoke it
  5. The basic plot of a football game
  6. If it's still pinkeye if it's not itchy but real goopy
    This one is kind of urgent....for my friend
  7. Are you bi if you're really into Natalie Portman when you're drunk