TRAITS OF MY FATHER I WILL MOST LIKELY DEVELOP

  1. Gradual breakdown of social awareness and finesse, including an impressive obliviousness to body language
  2. Development of personal branding by coming up with my own nicknames
    My dad now goes by "The Hawk"
  3. The confidence to approach any stranger at a grocery store for an hour-long conversation
  4. Psoriasis
  5. My own podcast with a surprisingly sizable niche audience
    His is called "The History Dweebs" and he takes on the persona of a Southern gentleman called "The Colonel"
  6. A gorgeous, incredibly talented and kind gay son