1. Hobby for reading erotic romance novels without regard to the presence of my children
  2. Strong sense of duty to share all photos of lost dogs on Facebook
  3. Quiet passion for forensic/police dramas like NCIS and Bones
  4. Vocal hatred ofTim Burton films
  5. Affinity for "Life is Good" apparel
  6. Demand for constant affection and attention from my future children
  7. Tendency to forego purchases after accidentally leaving coupons in the car
  8. The use of inanimate objects/flowers/clip art as profile pictures
  9. Breasts