Advice from A bad Writer

Capitalize every other letter in a title.
  1. ALWAYS write in past tense
  2. The more exclamation points, the better!!!!!!!!
  3. Don't bother capitalizing i. it wastes time. i think.
  4. Always use contractions
  5. When, in doubt, use a, comma.
  6. Use wacky spelled names, like Samwell instead of Samuel.
  7. Subplots add depth to your story, use a minimum of 15
  8. Don't be terribly afraid to inhibitingly use fun and smart and clever adjectives.
  9. Finally, when you are publishing your book make sure and use the "uneven/ruffled" page. Everyone loves that.