Or don't pay
  1. Full Time Sleeper
    Although maybe my depression would subside and I would lose that skill
  2. Personal Shopper
    Like... for my personal use
  3. Puppy Cuddler
    Allergies might be bad but it's totally worth it
  4. Hobby Attempter
    Never actually picking up or completing any of said hobbies
  5. Host of a Food and Travel Show w/o the Cameras
    Like Anthony Bourdain without the pressure of being as cool or interesting as Anthony Bourdain.
  6. Stay At Home Dog Mom
    I don't own a dog but I might if I could stay home with it
  7. Stay At Home Human
    Mind you I'm getting paid for these nonexistent careers
  8. Funny Person
    Lack required skills