THINGS THAT SUCK WHEN YOU'RE ON CRUTCHES

  1. 1.
    BEING ON CRUTCHES
  2. 2.
    Being in the ER at 2:30a on Sunday to get prescribed said crutches
  3. 3.
    Hobbling around Ralph's at 4a to get ibuprofen while on said crutches for the first time in your life
  4. 4.
    Almost falling on your ass in front of numerous strangers on said crutches
  5. 5.
    Going to work on Sunday at 1p using said crutches and everyone asking "WHAT HAPPENED???????"
  6. 6.
    Telling the story about why you are on said crutches at least 30 times in 1 day.... No I am not exaggerating.
  7. 7.
    Feeling like you have the flu after using said crutches for 4 hours! Damn I thought I was in good shape.
  8. 8.
    Wishing people would literally pick you up and bring you everywhere so you would not have to use said crutches.
  9. 9.
    Jokingly- but really not jokingly- asking to use a wheelchair.
  10. 10.
    Trying to use said crutches in a STUDIO APARTMENT!!!!
  11. 11.
    Feeling so horrible on Monday that you THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE STREP AND BE ON CRUTCHES. No. Come on. There's no way.
  12. 12.
    Peeling yourself off your couch in your STUDIO APARTMENT on CRUTCHES, trying to find the strength to take your weak ass to urgent care.
  13. 13.
    Using said crutches to enter urgent care.
  14. 14.
    Having the urgent care nurse tell you you have a 102.7 degree fever while you've been using said crutches.
  15. 15.
    And having the urgent care doctor tell you that you indeed have STREP THROAT while you're on CRUTCHES!!!!!
  16. 16.
    OK LIFE I GET IT!!! I'm slowing down- you've given me no choice.
  17. 17.
    Sitting on your ass AAAAALLLLLL DAMN DAY on Tuesday because you feel like shit from the strep and you don't have any energy to use said crutches.
  18. 18.
    Getting up Wednesday feeling somewhat better except you still feel like you're SWALLOWING JAGGED ROCKS!!
  19. 19.
    Looking at your throat in the mirror with the flashlight from your phone only to see your throat looks WORSE.
  20. 20.
    So you drag your sweet ass back to urgent care- this time WITHOUT SAID CRUTCHES.
  21. 21.
    SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE!!!! 😩
  22. 22.
    Oh and I get to get a SHOT IN THE ASS!!! HOOOOOOORRRRRRAAAAAAYYYYYYYY