MUNDANE BUT USEFUL REAL-WORLD SUPER POWERS

  1. Ability to rip tidy pieces of duct tape with your fingers, not scissors
  2. Ability to parallel park on a busy city street (or any traffic nearby at all)
  3. Ability to sleep even when there is a clock ticking super loud in the room
  4. Ability to mix cake batter without leaving blobs of unincorporated flour at the bottom of the bowl
  5. Ability to use every bit of toothpaste in the tube