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I've been unemployed for a while. @list @BuzzFeed @IBM @Delish @thedailyshow @nytimes @sixers @mindy @anyone #funemployed #desperate
  1. I have a master's degree in Finance and Economics from Brandeis University
  2. My Bachelor's is in Economics and Pyschology
  3. I interned at State Street Corporation (It's a big bank)
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  1. 1.
    You take your best friends
  2. 2.
    You start in LA
  3. 3.
    And hike Griffith Park to the Hollywood sign.
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Single and bored.
  1. 1.
    Are you a male over the age of 25 who is or exceeds 6 feet in height?
    If yes please continue to number 2. If no, you can still continue to 2 as long as you're male. Can't really change that😅
  2. 2.
    Do you smoke or drink in excess?
    No? Great! Wait, you do drink too much... Well beggars can't be choosers.
  3. 3.
    Will you buy me food whenever I ask?
    This one is non negotiable. I need to be fed constantly!
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In case you missed the amazingness that's happening on Twitter today, here of some of my favorite #NoWomenEver tweets. Feel free to add your own favorites!
I have an obsession with shows that promise its contestants that they'll leave with a boyfriend/fiancé/soulmate. Feel free to add your own shows, real or made-up.
  1. BACHELOR
    Unemployed women vie for the attention of one emotionally unavailable man. Cat fights and mental breakdowns ensue.
  2. BACHELORETTE
    One girl dates 20-30 guys in hopes of finding IBS to marry her in 3 months. Guys try to impress a girl so they can stay on the show long enough to get famous.
  3. ARE YOU THE ONE?
    Psychologist run test on people and withhold test results. Couples play games to figure out who they've been matched with. Possibility of splitting one million dollars amongst 20 people.
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All the list I wrote in the middle of the night
  1. 1.
    Disney Channel Original Movies, Ranked
  2. 2.
    Pajamas, Ranked
  3. 3.
    Toes, Ranked
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Because there's a marathon happening. Comment to let me know if you agree or if I've left someone out.
  1. 1.
    Tru's Confession
    Greatest thing Shia Labouf has ever done!
  2. 2.
    Gotta Kick It Up
    Si Se Puede!!!!!!!!!!!!
  3. 3.
    The Color of Friendship
    This movie is amazing🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
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This is a guide on how to proceed
  1. 1.
    Take a minute to be shocked that anyone would bother looking for you
    It's not like my Facebook profile is new, and I literally live in the same house. I understand stalking your old friends on FB to see if they had kids or went to rehab, but contacting them...
  2. 2.
    Consider avoiding them
    I could just pretend to be the wrong Tarah.
  3. 3.
    Admit you are who they think you are and engage in pleasantries.
    So, how has the past 12 years been for you? Nope, no kids. No I don't remember that one time in the 7th grade.
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Mostly about this season. I swear I watch it ironically... Every year
  1. There is always a villain
    Somebody always has to be the asshole and I love it!
  2. People get so drunk on the first night that they think nudity is the best first impression
    I get you're nervous but 7 shots? Really.
  3. The mystery date
    Someone always has to show up halfway through the first party like "I saw you on tv and I must compete for your love"
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  1. Avoiding cleaning
    This includes laundry
  2. Call your friends to cancel brunch
    Because you're still in bed
  3. Stay in bed
    Because Monday is coming