TOES, RANKED

  1. 5.
    BIG TOE
    It's most likely to get stubbed, and when given the chance to flee it chose to go to the market...lame.
  2. 4.
    SECOND TOE/INDEX TOE
    What is the proper term for this one?
  3. 3.
    RING TOE
    Cause that's what it's called, right? This toe got nothing in the dumb song so I'll give it a pity ranking.
  4. 2.
    MIDDLE TOE
    This roast beef eating toe is great for flipping someone off if your hands are busy.
  5. 1.
    PINKY TOE
    Clearly the superior toe. Even when it cries wee wee wee on its way home it's adorable. Still at risk of being badly stubbed, but I'll over look that because this toe has a clear name, unlike those middle three.