It's a vibrant and horrific world, who wouldn't be ecstatic?
  1. Old old neighbor lady who murdered her husband just got out of the clink and moved back into her neglected house.
    Just trying to sort out a protocol for meeting her and maybe spiffing up her landscaping.
  2. New episodes of 48 Hours, 20/20, and/or Forensic Files.
    Nothing validates the general horror of being female like the hard facts of people murdering us left and right.
  3. Large jugs of Califia mocha iced coffee
    I go out of my way for very little and almost no one but this stuff merits many emotionally uncomfortable trips to Whole Foods.
  4. Teaching a bunch of women over 30 y.o. to skate.
    The raw joy of adult women confronting their primal physical fears and loving it is the best.
  5. Bridget Everett.
    Hilarious, gross, perfect.