PROOF I'M NOT A REAL HUMAN

  1. I don't own tin foil and I reuse plastic baggies
  2. I sleep on a mattress on the floor in a sleeping bag with an electric blanket over me
  3. I think about the color yellow more than I think about a lot of things
  4. I constantly lose water bottles so it's like not even helping the environment anymore
  5. I have glitter on everything I own
  6. I draw on everything I own
  7. I have holes in every item of clothing I own
  8. I cry when I think about 401ks
  9. I don't understand 401ks
  10. I'd rather be miserable than make someone else disappointed