I'm lounging at a pool in SoCal....
  1. The suns shining
  2. The musics bumping
  3. Children are splashing
    It's getting old Peter, keep the damn water in the pool.
  4. And I'm sitting in my chair, making a list on this gold of an app,
  5. This lady, in her 40's, holding cigs and a drink comes up to me and says "excuse me, are you alone?"
  6. Kinda wondering where the eff this conversation will go, I take a pause to see if she'll elaborate more, which she does
  7. "Like do you have a guy with you?"
  8. I'm a little nervous at this point at really where is she going to go with this, "yea I have a bf but he's not here"
  9. She seems a little nervous to spit out what she wants to say but she's determined to spit it out, "this is going to be so weird, and I'm not a lesbian, but you have an amazing body"
  10. Which at this point any worry I had about what she could possibly ask goes away and appreciation takes over "omg thank you, I don't feel like I do so thank you so much"
  11. I thought that was it, it was done, she was going to be on her way to drink more pina coladas by the pool. I was wrong, this is where it starts to get weird...
  12. "Can I take a pic of your body and send it to this guy I have a crush on and say this is what you're missing out on?"
  13. Uhm.. Da fuq??
  14. I don't know what to do because she's 100% serious so I do my awkward laugh.
  15. She continues, "I won't get your face in it I promise, you just have an amazing body."
  16. At this point I have to answer, so what do I do?
  17. I say "yea sure!"
  19. So she's talking still while taking this photo of my body.
  20. "He came over last night, and played cards against humanity, do you know that game? Well my 73 yr old mother played Dick Fingers, my 73 yr old mother! And then when we hugged goodbye I was like can you just grab my ass? He didn't, and I was like, why are you such a fucking prude?"
  21. She's getting the angle just right ad continues, "I think he has a gf but I don't care! Here I'll let you edit it how you want it."
  22. Guys, she's telling me this as she's taking this picture all while I'm just laying there laughing confused with my emotions
  23. I'm slightly flattered and she definitely stroked my ego, but I feel violated... Should I feel violated?
  24. She didn't even ask me my name!
  25. She did ask my age tho, so like we kinda became pals.
  26. She did invite me to hang out with her and her friends who would also "love my body"....
  27. Giphy
    Help me
  28. Update: she moved her seats so now she is literally right next to me with her friends...