Reasons you may see me sneaking away from your neighborhood

  1. I set your home security system settings to Spanish and cannot change them back.
    You're welcome
  2. I siphoned gas out of that sedan you only drive on the weekend
    Tasted like Plus (Bonus!)
  3. I put up a ton of lost pet photos with pictures of random strangers instead of pets
    Admit it, you looked for them
  4. I rerouted your cable box for free cable
    But now homeland security watches your house
  5. I removed all the labels from your canned goods
    Surprise for dinner tonight kids: Apple Pie Filling!
  6. I switched all your coffee with decaf
    You can't tell the difference
  7. I mix up your house numbers
    You didn't notice
  8. I changed all the combination locks on your bicycles to 1234
    It's easy to remember