1. You like to try on other people's glasses in order to judge how blind they are.
  2. You have ever considered voting for Donald Trump to be the President of the United States.
  3. You like to give your unsolicited opinions about carbohydrate consumption.
  4. You think embarrassing shy people on purpose is funny.
  5. You secretly add something to my food that you know I don't like just to see if I'll notice.
    I'm referring to, like, cheese, not roofies. But please don't roofie me either.
  6. You "don't believe in deodorant."