MY FAKE DADS
Not in, like, a gross way.
- •Coach Eric TaylorThe actual best father. He and Tami raised me right. Unlike that ungrateful bitch Julie.
- •Tom HanksI have thought of him as my dad for as long as I can remember? Even before I knew my actual dad wasn't a good person.
- •Arthur WeasleySuch a lovely human. ADOPT ME.
- •Steve MartinHe plays the banjo at all of our family gatherings. He's also from Waco! The place I currently live! ADOPT ME.
- •Sir Ian McKellanLooking forward to spending Sundays with Uncle Patrick (Stewart, of course).
- •Sandy CohenHe's going to teach me how to surf.
- •Liam PayneHe literally raised me.