MOVIES I SAW THIS WEEKEND (AND MY EXPERT OPINION ON ROONEY MARA)

  1. Pan
    Really fun movie if I don't think about it too much. Not a very good origin story for Peter. Captain Hook is Han Solo (almost beat for beat). Peter is only mischievous and fun loving in the first act. Gives no reason for the rivalry between Hook and Pan. But Rooney Mara is a delight. Also, I'm in love with her. Can someone tell her?
  2. Bridge of Spies
    So great. I don't know why I thought Tom Hanks was going to have a mustache the whole movie. That threw me off. Oh well. Great guy. Wish he was my uncle. And Rooney Mara was my girlfriend. Is she single? I should look that up.
  3. Crimson Peak
    Not a ghost story but a story with ghosts. Visually captivating. Story wasn't what I was expecting but enjoyed the surprise. Just did a Google search and it looks like Rooney Mara is single!
  4. Goosebumps
    GOOD. Only saw it to kill time but laughed out loud the whole film. Jack Black is great. Supporting cast is full of really funny improvisers. Amanda Lund almost stole the movie. It's no Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (Rooney Mara, if you're reading this I love all your work) but it was still a fun family film. Or whatever it is.
  5. The Intern
    Eh. It was ok, I guess? For some reason I like watching Robert DeNiro smile. It's like a relief or something. I just want him to be happy. Do you think he knows Rooney Mara? What would he think of me trying to ask her on a date? Would he approve?
  6. Nightcrawler (on Netflix in my van)
    Wow. Jake Gyllenhaal is so good. And wow his last name is super weird to look at and spell. I never took time to notice until just now. Gyllenhaal? Also, if anyone of you can get in touch with Rooney Mara, or someone close to her, would you let her know about me?