LOSING MY RELIGION (NOT THE R.E.M. SONG)
this is not eloquently written but I just had some feelings.
- •I've been struggling for a while.
- •I don't think that this is widely talked about in social media communities (or maybe I'm just hanging out in the wrong circles) but I've been thinking a lot about it lately.
- •I'm slowly finding my faith again, after losing through most of my teenage years.
- •I think that some of it had to do with being raised in a house where my grandparents were INCREDIBLY Catholic & sort of shamed anyone who didn't worship exactly like they did?
- •Then, when I went to college, I took a history class that really challenged what little faith I had left, so I actively avoided situations that would put me in a church or worship setting.
- •About a year ago, my anxiety became increasingly hard to ignore & I felt depression creeping in. Before seeking medical intervention, I decided to change my lifestyle a little bit, slowly incorporating church back into my life.This isn't to say that Jesus the cure for anxiety/depression. Therapists & medication are life-saving & absolutely wonderful. I just wasn't at the point where I thought medical intervention was necessary. I also started working out more & sleeping on more of a schedule.
- •I explored a few churches in my area & decided that a Catholic Church was not the best choice for me at this point in my life.I disagree with some of the fundamental values that the Catholic religion stands by.
- •I found a church with a live band & multiple pastors that preach about current events & wear jeans while doing so.I don't AT ALL feel judged or like I'm being talked down to. This is v. v. important to me.
- •I don't think I've fully 'found' my faith again, but I feel as though I'm finally in the same vicinity.
- •When I worship on Sunday, my entire week feels like it's starting out the right way & I feel 'centered' in my life.
- •I know that I'm not the only person on earth to feel this way, but sometimes I feel like I'm surrounded by people on complete opposite ends of the spectrum & I feel like I'm floating in the middle.I'm envious of people who hold strongly to their beliefs, whatever they may be because at least they have solid ground to stand on.