LOSING MY RELIGION (NOT THE R.E.M. SONG)

this is not eloquently written but I just had some feelings.
  1. I've been struggling for a while.
  2. I don't think that this is widely talked about in social media communities (or maybe I'm just hanging out in the wrong circles) but I've been thinking a lot about it lately.
  3. I'm slowly finding my faith again, after losing through most of my teenage years.
  4. I think that some of it had to do with being raised in a house where my grandparents were INCREDIBLY Catholic & sort of shamed anyone who didn't worship exactly like they did?
  5. Then, when I went to college, I took a history class that really challenged what little faith I had left, so I actively avoided situations that would put me in a church or worship setting.
  6. About a year ago, my anxiety became increasingly hard to ignore & I felt depression creeping in. Before seeking medical intervention, I decided to change my lifestyle a little bit, slowly incorporating church back into my life.
    This isn't to say that Jesus the cure for anxiety/depression. Therapists & medication are life-saving & absolutely wonderful. I just wasn't at the point where I thought medical intervention was necessary. I also started working out more & sleeping on more of a schedule.
  7. I explored a few churches in my area & decided that a Catholic Church was not the best choice for me at this point in my life.
    I disagree with some of the fundamental values that the Catholic religion stands by.
  8. I found a church with a live band & multiple pastors that preach about current events & wear jeans while doing so.
    I don't AT ALL feel judged or like I'm being talked down to. This is v. v. important to me.
  9. I don't think I've fully 'found' my faith again, but I feel as though I'm finally in the same vicinity.
  10. When I worship on Sunday, my entire week feels like it's starting out the right way & I feel 'centered' in my life.
  11. I know that I'm not the only person on earth to feel this way, but sometimes I feel like I'm surrounded by people on complete opposite ends of the spectrum & I feel like I'm floating in the middle.
    I'm envious of people who hold strongly to their beliefs, whatever they may be because at least they have solid ground to stand on.