SCHMIDT'S DOUCHEBAG JAR 📂

Inspired by @film. Rewatching New Girl. Thought I'd write all the times Schmidt pits money in the jar, chronologically.
  1. "You're looking at LLS. Ladies Love Schmidt"
    Coach, 1.1
  2. "I just got to talk to my boys... My bros"
    Nick, 1.1
  3. "Can I hit you up some with some tea? A little herb tea. Ugh. Oh my god. How good is that? Little p-mint tea? Yum, right? Hot, sweet. Little tea bag action. And I wasn't -- I wasn't talking about --"
    Nick, 1.1
  4. "I'm gonna be honest with you. I did not hear a word that you just said, 'cause I can kinda see your party hats right now"
    Nick, 1.1
  5. "Listen, Jess, I know you've had a really rough go of it, and I just want you to know that, I mean, for me at least that no matter what, I would still totally do you.
    Jess ( and nick and coach), 1.1
  6. Jess about turkey in oven: "I can't get it in!" "We've all been here, an I right?"
    Nick, 1.6
  7. *slides on floor shirtless holding turkey*
    Nick, 1.6
  8. The Story of the 50 -- tries to kiss Jess
    Everyone, $50 1.10
  9. "Someone's personalized condoms just came in the mail"
    Jess, $20
  10. "Winston, did you know NWA doesn't stand for Never Walk Alone?"
    Winston, $30
  11. *in hat and tank top* "Hey Nick"
    Nick
  12. "TWENTY-NINEE"
    Nick, $10, 1.10
  13. "Ooh, Jess, I just found a groupon for hypnosis lessons. Think about what you could do with that. Sex stuff."
    Jess, 1.10
  14. "Look, guys, has anyone seen my good pea coat?"
    Winston, 1.10
  15. "Have you seen my sharkskin laptop sleeve?"
    Nick, 1.10
  16. "Darn it! Has anyone seen my croquet cleats?"
    1.10
  17. "Hey, Jess, have you seen my other timepiece?"
    1.10
  18. "Nick, I came up with the best name for an uncircumcised penis. Bishop in a turtleneck."
    1.10
  19. "Damn it! I can't find my driving moccasins anywhere."
    1.10
  20. "Question- how do you forget that? Answer- you don't. Jar! I'm gonna jar myself on that one!"
    Schmidt, 1.17
  21. "Winston, don't worry about it, man. It's your public school education. You'll catch up... Jar again!"
    Schmidt, 1.17
  22. "Jess, are you cooking a frittata in a sauce pan? What is this; prison?
    Nick, Winston, Schmidt, 2.2
  23. "You're a gynecologist and a lesbian which makes you, well, a va-genius."
    Jess, 2.9
  24. BONUS- "I know my way around a Grizzly Adams."
    Sadie says this, Jess, 2.9
  25. "As an adult male, I would like to ask you a few questions about, you know, the downstairs girl cookie."
    Jess, 2.9
  26. "The only thing he left was my summer suit with the lightning bolt on the back. I keep that in my summer bin along with summer condoms-- citrus-flavored, for a more refreshing summer experience."
    Jess and Winston, 2.10
  27. "Bros ever before the ho."
    Nick, 2.25