1. They think it's just hilarious to tell you to "put those things away"
  2. Or say something about "poking someone's eye out with those things"
    So original! And totally not objectifying me, as you call my breasts "things"
  3. If you complain in any way, you will be told to "stop bragging"
    Relentless back pain & years of chiropractic visits are a great opportunity for a humblebrag
  4. "Can I touch them?"
    Please don't
  5. If you wear anything that dares to reveal your breasts in any way, you're "showing them off"
  6. Other women say things like, "I hate my tiny boobs. But I'd also hate to have your size!"
  7. And men say things like, "You're smarter than I thought you'd be. You know, blond...big tits.."
  8. "Are your boobs real?"
    Always appropriate to ask someone you've never met before
  9. Men rarely look at your face when conversing with you, instead choosing to talk into your breasts like they're placing a fast food order
  10. Insert comment from some woman about how she would get a reduction if she looked like you because she would "want to be taken seriously at work"
  11. Catcalls are especially annoying because you know there will always be some mention your chest
  12. Online dating means guys using romantic and flowery terms like "rack" and "tits" in their first message to you
  13. You get comments on the size of your breasts when you wear a snowsuit, a turtleneck, a down jacket, or a fucking cardboard box
    Never worn a box but I guarantee it would still happen