Weird Things That Happened Yesterday

  1. My cat woke me up by walking on my face.
    For the record, this is one of the worst ways to wake up.
  2. The crosswalk sign said for me to go, so I started to cross, but cars kept turning right in front of me anyway. A cop ran into traffic with his hands up, yelling, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! LET HER WALK!"
    Personal hero.
  3. I went to return books and run some errands near the Beverly Hills Library, and when I came back to the parking garage to get my car, the garage was barricaded off because a jumper tried to kill himself by jumping off the second level of City Hall.
    A hot fireman said it would be a while, so I went to La Scala to eat and wait.
  4. Cried about the jumper.
    I'm PMSing and way too invested in other people's pain, even if I don't know what that pain is.
  5. While crossing another crosswalk, a photographer crouched at the other end was motioning for me to move out of the way.
    He was taking some girl's portfolio photos while she crossed Canon in a gown, and I didn't even notice.
  6. I looked through my makeup bag and realized my concealer and makeup brush had both gone missing after my friend visited & did her makeup at my house this week.
    Hmm can't imagine where those went.
  7. My ex who bailed when I miscarried back in May (and, as I recently discovered, had been lying to me for years) text messaged me to ask me to dinner. When I didn't answer he called ME selfish and told me to "go to hell, bitch."
    See you there champ 👋🏻
  8. Forgot my glasses at home so I had to drive home in the dark wearing my prescription sunglasses like fucking Corey Hart.
    ....did anyone even get that reference?
  9. I saw Flavor Flav on a street corner filming himself on his iPhone while he was talking to paparazzi from TMZ. At the same time, a TMZ tour van filled with tourists drove right by and did not notice.
    That was easily the weirdest part of this day.