Your (Internalized) Sexism is Showing
Listen, it's hard enough out there. We all have to do better because we deserve better - especially from each other. This is a tiny starting point, but I urge you to start being honest with yourself about the way you speak of other women.
- •"She has daddy issues"Ugh. Why can't a person be interested in someone older without it being a deep psychological "problem" that is rooted in their parental relationships? You're implying that there's something wrong with her. I thought we hated Freud's outdated concepts, so why are we still holding on to this? This is both ageist and sexist. GTFO.
- •"I don't trust women who have more guy friends than girl friends"Perhaps she's friends with the people who support and care for her most, regardless of gender. Some people just want loving friendships and that's all. So what is the direct relationship between a woman's friendships with men, and her ability to be trusted? Does that make you feel threatened by her? There's nothing wrong with her. This is your trust issue to work out.
- •On the 'other woman': "She should've known better"The person who betrayed you is the one you should be angry with... for betraying you. Unless they cheated on you with your friend or relative, the other person should have no impact on your life. She didn't owe you anything, and no, she doesn't need to "know better." You're saying that she's not only the sexual gatekeeper, but the gatekeeper for morality, as well. Most importantly, you're erasing your partner's culpability.
- •"She will sleep with anyone! Obviously, she has no self-respect"THERE IS NO CORRELATION BETWEEN SEX DRIVE AND SELF-RESPECT. This assumption that a sexual woman doesn't love or respect herself is pure garbage. But it does allow you to stand on your perch and feel like you are "above" her while you do your slut-shaming. Cut it out.
- •"She just wants attention"How about giving her the benefit of the doubt and assuming she's doing whatever she's doing to please herself first, and everyone else second? Could that be possible, too? Even if she was looking for outside validation, would that really make her worthy of disdain? Maybe she needs you, but you're too busy judging her to see it.
- •"She's such a slut/whore"As my therapist says, this is hate speech, plain and simple. Do us all a favor and delete these words from your vocabulary immediately. Thank you.