MINDY LAHIRI QUOTES THAT I'VE PROBABLY SAID IRL

@mindy said Mindy Lahiri should be nobody's role model, and I can't say I disagree. But that doesn't mean that we are not already the same person.
  1. "I want you to love me in the way that I can show on Instagram."
  2. "My TV is broken and I cannot be alone with my thoughts."
  3. "[I have] an encyclopedic knowledge of reality television."
  4. "I am not overweight. I fluctuate between chubby and curvy."
  5. "I'm sorry, are you saying that I'm not cultured? I'm deeply cultured. I've been to London."
  6. "Sir?! You're not using enough cheese on that pizza, sir!"
  7. [to Kris Jenner] "Your womb is a national treasure."
  8. "I don't weigh anything. I'm like a cloud."
  9. "Oh my god, it's my favorite kind of cake! Gigantic!"
  10. "Maybe I won't get married, ya know? Maybe I'll do one of those 'Eat, Pray, Love' things. Ugh, no. I don't want to pray. Forget it, I'll just die alone."
  11. "Your secret is safe with me. Largely because I don't care, and I'll probably forget."
  12. [when asked what would cheer her up] "McDonald's."
  13. "I don't want to go to your stupid party. But you know what? I should have been invited."
  14. "It is so weird being my own role model."
  15. "I had no friends in 7th grade, so I had time to master the cross stitch."
  16. "How could anybody want to see this movie [The Godfather, Part II]? I've never even heard of it."