Top 6 things to remember if you have impregnated a woman.

My girlfriend, now fiancé, is now pregnant, and at 20 years old it is certainly the most significant thing to happen to me. If you are like me at all; raised in a Christian household, brought up not knowing much about how to deal with issues outside of religion, and not taught how to deal with generally hard thing to deal with. This list may help.
  1. NUMBER ONE: YOU ARE NO LONGER FUNNY OR WITTY. AT ALL.
    Before my fiancé was pregnant, I could always find a way to crack her up. I am a sarcastic person, throwing well-intended insults and "funny" comments into the wind. If you are like this, find the nearest sewing kit, put a thread in the needle and stitch that big mouth shut. Everything you say is stupid. Keep it serious and simple and laugh at all of her jokes, even if they suck. Your life is not yours anymore; it is your wife's and your child. But don't lose the humor. It will return.
  2. IF YOU AREN'T AT WORK, WHAT THE F#%& ARE YOU DOING?
    There is no such thing as an off day anymore. When you aren't at work, (which you should be trying to do as much as possible), you need to be working. Sounds simple, right? This involves finding ways to get more money, researching about pregnant women and about babies, reading about your plans for the future (mortgages, loans, credit, cars, baby clothes, cribs, schools, the list never ends :-)) God forbid you text your significant other and say, "oh, I just woke up from a nap. I'll get to it."
  3. KEEP YOUR PHONE/COMMUNICATION DEVICE ON LOUD AND NEAR YOU AT ALL TIMES.
    Your wife, fiancé, girlfriend, significant other is going to want to be in constant contact with you at all times, and it is your responsibility to be there at every waking moment. They are depending on you with not only their life, but with a life that both of you have created. If she snapchats you, open it and respond right away. If she's calling, stop what you are doing and answer. If she texts you, respond right away and address everything that she has said. Attention to detail is critical.
  4. BE PATIENT, LOVE THEM, BE KIND, BE UNDERSTANDING.
    This is not only a beautiful new event in your life, but if you are like me, it is also the most stressful thing you two have ever encountered. She is scared. She is stressed out beyond belief. She is mad and she is afraid. This is the time where you become a man. She will be mean. She will be downright cruel. Do NOT, EVER, talk back, give attitude, or instigate fights. She is looking to you to her her confidant and to be her stress relief. The attitude will blow over. Turn the other cheek.
  5. BE A MAN.
    Sounds easy, right? For some, who are ready, it is. If you're like me, it happened when you were making the transition into manhood. You will lose a lot of things you loved to do. Your friends come third, fourth, fifth; last. Delete all of your local weed dealers number and forget about parties. Get your head out of your ass. If your lady calls you and you are piss drunk, you might as well tattoo "IM AN IMMATURE FUCK" on your forehead. Your life is not yours anymore. You cannot do this anymore.
  6. ALWAYS, ALWAYS BE HONEST.
    Everyone in your life is depending on or speculating you. Do not fuck it up with a stupid lie. Once trust is gone, especially with a very emotional person, it is the toughest thing you can do to regain it. One little lie can topple a mountain of trust built over years of communication. You are going to feel the pressure. You are going to want to say things that will make her happy. This is not always possible. "Speak the truth, even if it leads to your death."