To be updated as often as she says and does something noteworthy. So, often.
  1. She microwaved a Chewy bar in it's wrapper.
  2. She threw a flaming paper towel at me and screamed fire as I calmly filled a cup with water and extinguished the fire.
  3. She lifted her shirt and asked me if her boobs were lopsided.
  4. She is naked. Always.
  5. She ran 2 stop signs / lights when I drove behind her.
  6. She ate all of my cereal. Thrice.
  7. She left her worn underwear on the kitchen stove.
  8. She bought a cigarette lighter because she didn't know how to use our regular lighter. She didn't know how to use the cigarette lighter either.
  9. She ate at the same restaurant and ordered the same pizza slice 4 times in one week.
  10. She broke up with her boyfriend when he accidentally overheard her loudly talking to her family about how she wants to break up with him