I WAS ROBBED ON JULY 4TH. HERE'S WHAT WAS IN MY BAG! WITH PICS!
This past July 4th my bag was stolen! (Should I include robbery deats? Eh.) Here's the official recounting of stuff that was in my bag. This list is mostly to benefit me so I can work towards replenishing my new bag over the course of a year or so. I assume it will take a year? I think including pics will up the drama factor, so obvi doing that...
- •The actual bagMy mom bought me this chill backpack when we were traveling in Denmark a few years ago. It's the only thing I've owned that I was pre-trend on. Well, I've been pre-trend on this backpack AND drop-crotch sweatpants, tbh.
- •Enormous wallet fit for a mother of 7, not my small "everyday" wallet, this was my "every card/thing ever" walletWHY DID I INSIT ON BRINGING MY WALLET WITH EVERY CREDIT CARD/UN CASHED CHECK/GIFT CARD/INSURANCE CARD, ETC. TO A JULY 4TH BBQ!?!? OH, ALSO HAD MY CAMERA'S MEMORY CARD (WITH TRAVEL PICS) AND PAIR OF MOM'S PEARL STUD EARRINGS IN THERE. DAMMIT TAL BALL. Ah well, replacement CC's are en route!
- •So many tamponsLike. So many tampons. My neurosis insists that I carry 3 cycles worth of tampons with me at all times. Also, I can't yet buy more tampons because of reason #2 💝
- •Prescription eye dropsMy friend who also had her purse stolen at the same BBQ lost her prescription Xanax. I lost my prescription eye drops. We wept dramatically. (V jeal of this girl pictured. Must be nice...)
- •SunglassesAfter Beyonce dropped her last album (bless December of 2013) I bought myself a pair of Janis Joplin-esque sunglasses and got "#flawless" engraved on the inside. BAI FOREVER, I GUESS.
- •Extra contactsI'm so blind without my contacts. My last unopened pair were in there. I had to call my eye doctor the next day to see if I could pick up an emergency pair but alas, #2 thwarted my efforts. Good thing I look damn cute in glasses that are two prescriptions too old.
- •Water bottleHow am I supposed to be environmentally conscious now, burglar!??
- •Birthday cardsMy birthday was the week before July 4th and I had 3 unopened cards in my backpack. What did those cards even say?!!? Probably something about how pretty and charming and funny and mature I am. Oh, and probably relatives regaling me with praises re: how totally together my life is. MOVING RIGHT ALONG.
- •KindleHOW WILL I EVER REMEMBER WHICH BOOKS I WAS READING/SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF!? Guess I just have to binge watch Friday Night Lights instead. (I watched all of FNL in real time so don't even...)
- •BONUS: THE LONE, NON STOLEN ITEM!My poloroid camera was on the table where all the stolen purses were. The burglars made a definite choice not to take my camera. When we got back from watching fireworks and everyone finally realized that our bags were indeed stolen, my actual first reaction was "Oh, so, my camera is still here. That's...nice." My second was, "FUCK, MY TAMPONS!!!!"