Transcribed as written in a half-sleep morning haze.
  1. Celebrities are turned into vampires and taken by Russians, including Steven Colbert. Jon Stewart makes an impassioned plea on his behalf.
  2. I'm on a cruise ship where Lady Gaga is playing every night, eating a large plate of shrimp.
  3. Later, I'm at a restaurant and everyone orders the same thing: pizza with Parkinson's disease on it.
  4. We go to my "new place" where I haven't moved in yet, but my sister has already decorated it with lots of weird pebbles.
  5. They want to see the apartment where Monica Lewinsky lived in the 90s. I don't want to take them there so I just show the outside. There is a statue of Hillary.
  6. I am in a huge bathroom that looks like a furniture store.
  7. At this point the others begin to see the futility of the situation, even though I knew it all along.
  8. On my way, I make a joke admonishing her for "getting the old woman laid -- in the BAD way," and she laughs a lot, which makes me feel really funny, because she is Tina Fey.
  9. Someone says, "they've got the snow ready," and we all know he means that "they" are the people building the huge igloo that will encapsulate and protect the city.
  10. Dream ends with an image of John McCain snorting cigarette butts.