THINGS I LIKE THAT ARE NOT COOL

  1. Maroon 5
    Not just that but I also want to hang out with Adam Levine and think he's the best one on the voice.
  2. Musicals
    Mostly Sondheim who is given a pass because he is recognized even by people who do not like musicals as a genius, but also very uncool things like Jesus Christ Superstar and Les Miserables.
  3. Woody Allen movies
    These used to be cool but now we all know what he did so I have to go see them alone and wear a hat.
  4. Bad coffee
    Weak deli coffee with a lot of cream. Reminds me of the coffee I used to have in the church basement after my dad's choir practice. All fancy coffee tastes too strong to me.
  5. Jonathan Franzen
    Everyone thinks he is pompous but when he rails against social media I think I'm wrong, not him, and I'm really excited for his new book.
  6. Ryan Reynolds
    Did anyone see the movie where he was buried alive and the whole thing was just Ryan Reynolds in a coffin with a cell phone?
  7. Tom Cruise
    Even though there is a whole branch of Scientology devoted to waxing his motorcycles, he is our best movie star.
  8. Restaurants in Williamsburg that don't belong in Williamsburg
    There was a place on Berry Street called Berry Bar. No one was ever there because the decor wasn't quite 'of the neighborhood' but the food and service were good. It closed and is now a crowded honky-tonk bar. My new haunt is L'Isola, a totally respectable wood oven pizza place that looks like it belongs in Jersey.