A while back, @dev revealed the true meanings of the many looks that cross Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi's face as she deals with the show's contestant chefs. Now, in advance of this week's season finale, I'd like to offer her some alternatives to the admittedly baller "Please pack your knives and go" she uses to send people home.
  1. "Shut up and please don't go make me a sandwich."
  2. "Maybe skip Whole Foods and just start shopping at CostCo."
  3. "These pretzels are making me thirsty."
  4. "Golden Corral called, and not even Jeff Foxworthy would eat this. Haha just kidding he'll eat anything."
  5. "You, much like this box of carryout, are to go."
  6. "We ordered well done, and you only gave us medium rare. Medium, tops."
  7. "We are actively rooting for food poisoning so we get your food out of our bodies faster."
  8. "Enjoy your feature in Food & Wine's sister publication, Slop and Gruel."
  9. "Don't forget to rate us on Yelp."