1. "I'd really like to do a list before I go to sleep."
  2. "But I'm really tired. And naps are so rare these days. Plus I don't have my glasses on so I'd have to hold the phone like an inch from my face."
  3. "But I'd really like to do a list."
  4. "Small detail: I don't have any good ideas right now."
  5. "But what if … what if I listed about THAT?"
  6. "Maybe it would be all meta, and people would be like 'Whoa, me too!'"
  7. "And what if it was so good, when I woke up, it had a ton of likes and resists? Can I risk NOT doing it?"
  8. "Then again, how sad is it that I get that excited over people liking a list on an app I didn't even know existed a month ago?"
  9. "I mean, what does that say about me and my self-esteem?"
  10. "And did I really just take 9 minutes of prime nap-window time to write this?"
  11. "I'm taking a nap."
  12. "Wait. Did my phone just vibrate?"