Things I Would Rather Do Than Reactivate My Facebook

It's been almost two years now since I left. I have missed it approximately zero times.
  1. Watch Godfather III
  2. Listen to Train sing the song "Drive By"
    In Spanish or English
  3. Attend a taping of Maury
  4. Go to Golden Corral
  5. Go to a Jeff Foxworthy show
  6. Go to Golden Corral with Jeff Foxworthy
    This idea is apparently too horrifying to express in GIF form. And yet … still preferable to the alternative.